I've been away for the last few days because it's just been a very abysmal end to the week and there hasn't been much to report besides that every day was a struggle.
The bladder infection seems to be coming on and off and so that situation is bothering me at times but it's not worrying me. Funnily enough what is stressing me out the most is this familiar feeling of giving up and restlessness. For some reason I've lost focus on what the actual objective of this whole new lifestyle change was and all of a sudden I'm finding white processed flour and fatty meats slipping into my diet. I'm being on harsh on myself obviously because it's not like I've let slip that badly but I think what upsets me most is that my mindset is not right.
Don't get me wrong - I still love the way I was and am living. I am very passionate about how my life is changing and my new embrace of natural eating but somehow the fire that was in my belly has turned onto a medium setting. I'm not expecting to be hardcore all the time but I'm starting to panic because it's usually times like this that I just give up and fall back into my old routine.
In a bid to remind myself of why I'm doing this, I picked up "The Omnivore's Dilemma" by Michael Pollan and began reading again. I've been reading this since I bought it but I decided to read some more to see if it would do much. Within a few minutes I was reminded about some of the reasons why I no longer eat fast food and why reading labels are so important. I then re-listened to Alicia Silverstone's talk about The Kind Diet on Youtube and now, at midnight, my heart feels a little less panicked.
It occurred to me that I had not yet bought a copy of The Kind Diet by Alicia Silverstone so I've ordered it alongside Peter Singer's Animal Liberation. Both books, I'm sure, will be detrimental to my ever evolving eating habits and I'm incredibly excited to receive them in the post this coming week. Perhaps they will keep me on the straight and narrow.
I haven't been eating too badly recently but my usual 50% fruit and vegetable intake seems to have gone down to a mere 40% and I've been reaching for the starches more often. The recent weather change has not helped and is possibly the cause of my body's calling for comfort food.
In a bid to regain my nutrient intake as well as satisfying my feeling for comfort, I will be making a lot more soups, warm and filling salads, porridge oats and vegetarian lasagne. I also have in mind to use my gigantic cauliflower that I picked up from the farmers market as a substitute for rice in a at-home, healthy 'Special Fried Rice'. Don't know how to do this? I shall post it up when I do it for you.
I went running again today so that's three days this week that I have exercised! I am very happy about that and I want to continue making three days the minimum amount of times I work out in a week. I'm enjoying running and very excited about progressing and running further. In three running 'sessions' I've noticed that my fitness levels are already changing and I can run for a little for longer and further now. I find it both shameful and hilarious that old men and women jog past me in the park and more often than not they will lap me over and over again. Perhaps I can lap a fat kid one day when I get old.
I almost know that I will not drop any weight this week. I'm very in-tune with my body and I can tell when I have lost weight or even inches. I think if there is change it's going to be minimal and I'm trying to work out why this is especially considering this week I did the most exercise. A lot of people talk about muscle being more dense than fat and hydration issues, body hording fat issues etc etc but the truth is, I have no answer and I'm sure there is more to it than one straight answer anyway. I take it that this will happen from time to time and I can't allow myself to think that a whole week was wasted (although that is how I feel). I need to remember that a week of healthy living was a reclaim to life and if no weight was lost then at least life was gained. Also another important note is that if you watch The Biggest Loser, quite often contestants find this happening in week 2 or 3 and they say this is normal because your body is still adjusting. OK, I've finally talked myself out of being too worried about it.
The 21 Day challenge is also not going particularly well. The first seven day has passed and out of the seven days I've only managed to wake up at 8am for three days. Granted I'm still waking up in the morning but it's usually between 9-10am. Again, I don't want to be too harsh on myself but I really need to pull the reigns in and start focussing.
I come away from this post concluding that the new week is officially upon me and now it's time to refocus and keep reclaiming life. It's time to re-educate and move on to bigger and slimmer things. I'm slightly nervous about my weigh in tomorrow but what will be, will be.
Tomorrow, I will make sure the week starts off with a bang.