Tuesday, 15 February 2011

The Final Push

Ever since the horrific snow that hit us in the UK, I stopped riding my bike to and from work... which means that I haven't been riding my bike since because I completely fell off the bang wagon, again!  I kept thinking about it and moaning to my Sister about not doing it when all of a sudden she decided we would the next day.  Slightly stunned, I agreed and honestly felt nervous the entire night...and I had good reason to.

The next time we woke up to extreme wind and just awful weather.  Of course we went and it's the first time I've ever physically wanted to vomit after exercise.  It's just a 20 minute ride but the first day back was absolutely frightening and was enough to scare me from doing it for a while.  The bike is banished into the shed until the weather is warmer and I'm feeling more confident.

Nonetheless, I know that time is slowly but surely running out.  I still have not lost any weight.  That night I wondered what I should do instead, seeing as I just can't find enough time to go running properly and my bike fears are enough to make me want to cry.  I then found my skipping rope!

A year ago, or so, when I was trying to lose weight I bought a skipping rope in a bid to make work out fun.  Needless to say, it wasn't fun for long and that too was banished to some corner that I didn't look at much often.  However this time round I'm quite keen on the idea because it doesn't require running around in the dark or facing traffic in the morning.  It's supposed to be one of the best, cheapest and easiest ways to work up a sweat and work out the muscles.  So, it wasn't long when I went running one day and also bought it along with me to test out.

The run itself was what I had expected - painful and difficult - but the skipping really helped shake things up and although I am quite shamefully rubbish at it, it really worked!  I had muscle pains in places I didn't even realise I had muscles!  Since then, I've woken up once to skip in the morning and I intend to do it again. 

So time is running out for me and I'm still the same weight as I was last time.  Tomorrow is a better day and I'm sure I will wake up from this nightmare soon!  I just have got to keep believing! 

xx

Wednesday, 2 February 2011

Success....?

"Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm."

~ Sir Winston Churchill

Hello all,

It's been a whirlwind of madness since mid-Autumn and I'm feeling a bit whoozie from it all.  Lucky for me, school is finally out as I handed in my last essay last week and now I am just committed to working five days a week, helping out at my own shop and blogging.  Well, that's what I thought until I looked into the mirror and realised I still haven't dropped anymore weight!  So here I am, re-committing myself and trying to be as positive about it.

So what's been happening on the diet front?  It's been a bit of a shambles to say the least, as you may have noticed I tried to make a come back after Christmas having put on a couple of pounds and then failed.  I'm back here today, back to the original weight I was when I took my hiatus and I can't say I'm feeling completely confident.
What's happened is that I've given into a lot of my temptations, all besides meat as I'm still a vegetarian, but I'm finding fats and dairy in my gob constantly.  I'm always snacking due to the sheer boredom at work and when I eat, I eat quite a lot because I'm hungry.  I know I must be eating around 2000 calories or so having maintained weight (or sometimes gain) and it's got to stop....why am I consuming these extra 800 or so calories? 

I have to say, deep inside, I'm still the same snack-loving girl I once was.  I deal with boredom/anger/stress/pain/sadness with food and it never seems to stop.  For a while back, I used exercise to really help me but having a ten hour day at work really makes me exhausted.  I find myself sitting there thinking of ways to lose more weight and before I know it, I'm eating again!   I keep wondering and wondering and just know that time isn't going to wait for me to wonder anymore!

So I'm back on a very low calorie eating lifestyle and I will fit in exercise whenever I can as much as I can. This morning I realised that my skipping rope has just been sitting there for a long time so I'm going to really give that a go.  I really miss running and I just wish I could go, perhaps I will muster up the courage to go soon.  I keep feeling so stressed out about it, I wish this wasn't giving me such pain.  How was it so easy last time?  I need to find that motivation and willingness again. 

This is how I want and plan my life to be from now on:

-Wake up at 7am
Brush teeth, dress, apply cycling friendly make-up, drink water and fruit (for energy), pack protein shake and lunch
-Leave for work at 8.15am
-Get to work at 8.45am
-Leave work at 7.15pm
-Arrive home at 8.45pm
-Prepare dinner and lunch for the next day
-Jump rope for 20 minutes, rest and shower
-Cook and have dinner
-Sleep
-Wake up at 7am

Somehow on my days off I will try to incorporate some running or something.  But do you see how jam packed my life is and how difficult it is to maintain that everyday?  I want to be realistic and know that it's not possible to be perfect everyday but I feel like time is not allowing me anything less than perfection. 

We will see how I get on.  Also I would love to commit myself to blogging here as much as usual.  I know for a fact that blogging/vlogging really helps me focus and the moment I lose that, I lose my way.  I am asking for a lot of support at the moment and right now, I need to stand on my own two feet.

I shall report back how it is all going and with a new stats report this coming Monday.  I haven't failed because I haven't given up, I owe this to myself and my body, so here is to another big push for a better and slimmer Helen.

Much love xxx