"I make me successful" - Antishay
It's the third day of the 21 Day Challenge and I've fallen off already! I went to bed late last night and before I knew it I woke up at 11.30am having slammed the snooze button off at 8am so hard I ended up switching the whole alarm off. Great! I will just make an effort to sleep earlier tonight. Either way I am going to because I've somehow managed to get my Sister to go running with me tomorrow in the park!
Also, I went running today! I drove to one of my favourite parks during mid-day despite my bladder infection still lingering in my ....bladder. I walked one of the routes and that was approximately 1.18 miles and it was just enough to warm me up when I suddenly really needed to go toilet (damn you, bladder!). Luckily my Brother lives across the road so I quickly went over and even had some fresh raspberries (YUM).
I did consider leaving it at that because my bladder was not happy but I just didn't want to go home yet. I would have felt a failure and a total loser if I did so I went back and off I went. I ran/jogged/power walked it and I would say I ran/jogged (exerted myself) for about half of it. If I remember correctly I estimated I ran about 0.34miles last time and this time I would have managed 0.59miles! Not to mention the extra walking I did. The best thing about it is that I got to enjoy peace and quiet in a big, beautiful place and it really perked me up.
Before my second run I was talking to my Sister on the phone about how the money situation at home is becoming worse. We both cried on the phone and when I got off the phone it just pushed me even harder to run and all I did was look up in the sky and keep going. Each time I stopped I made myself walk fast until I caught my breath and then I kept going. I would say to myself "run up to that tree" and then I would and I would ask myself "can you keep going?" and I would until my heart hurt. It felt incredible to get the tension out that way...it was exhilarating.
Whilst I jogged through the park I began thinking to myself about our money problems at home. Without going into too much detail, our family has problems with money and it's getting worse and worse. The problem isn't our income but it's our outgoings. There's certain family members who spend irrationally and irresponsibly and despite some of us scrimping, saving and worrying...others seem to be inconsiderate and irresponsible. I thought about how tough it was on us and how all it takes is discipline.
I kept running and I soon came to realise that losing weight is just the same as getting your finances right or sorting something out in your life. Knowledge is power. When I decided for sure that I wanted to change myself, I looked at everything that was wrong with me and why I did it. I went to seek out information as to how I could sort it out and how I planned to maintain it. Losing weight is just one thing in my life I'm changing and I've gone from a inactive girl with low self esteem, who shopped like mad and felt out of control, to someone who actually runs and can be proud of herself. I now spend next to nothing and I feel a lot more secure within myself. That is how problem solving works and it applies to everything. I decided from the 21st of August 2010 that I was no longer going to be the person I loathed. I also decided I no longer wanted to be in debt and I am pushing myself to save as much money as I can in my daily life. When I finally get a full time job I will promise to save as much and build for the future. Again, this applies to my weight loss. Why am I doing this? It's for the future and for my body, mind and soul. I have to do this and I will succeed. I make me successful.
My eating wasn't particularly great today because I'm still drinking a lot of sugary cranberry juice. It's slowly ebbing away because of it but in turn I'm drinking a lot of empty calories and my sugar levels are constantly being spiked. Anyway I did my exercise and I'm happy about that, there shouldn't be too much room for too much complaining especially when there has been effort.
My goal is to lose 2lbs this week. I am hoping to get to 12 stones. Tomorrow I will find a clothing item that doesn't fit me and I will show you. I should have done this earlier but I forgot.
All is well, losing weight a run at a time!
PS. As trivial as this may sound but I will tell you because it excites me. I managed to leave the house with zero make up on today and yesterday. I. Am. Unbelievable. Sometimes I wonder if I'm, me.