I had to take a break recently due to health issues. I guess I should fill you in.
From what I remember, everything was going smoothly back in June. I wasn't losing anymore weight but I was beginning to actually enjoy running after three weeks of pushing, panting and puffing. It was great because even though I couldn't see it on the scales, my body was changing and life just seemed OK.
It wasn't until one afternoon when I began to feel really strange; my bones hurt, I was trembling, my head was spinning and a huge wave of nausea came over me. For the next few weeks I felt this chronic fatigue day in and day out. So eventually I gave in and went to my doctor and within a few weeks I had done several blood tests and lucky for me everything came back negative.
So what's wrong? I'm still unsure because I'm mostly fine now. For those who have been following my life closely will know that this happened some time last year too except last time I could pick up coins and remember what I was saying. This time round it was affecting my job and it made me cry a lot. My doctor suggests that I was too stressed...perhaps anxious. Therefore, he handed me a card which, of course, had the name and number of a place I could go to where I could 'talk to someone'.
Perhaps I'm just too cynical but I just have never seen myself as a person who needs to go see a 'shrink'. Of course I know it's the sensible thing to do and the doctor won't check up on me again until I have gone through with it. Have I gone yet? No, I haven't but that's simply because I haven't had much time, which I guess, is part of the problem. 
Will I go? Perhaps. I'm not totally closed to the idea but I want to give myself some time before going.
It's been a good month or so since this has all happened and I'm recovering nicely. When I'm feeling anxious or strained, my joints burn with pain and I am so easy to lose myself in the moment to anger and frustration. If I have a bad night, I will wake up feeling like I've been run over by a truck. I still have my up and down days, but at least I don't feel as trapped as before.
So forgive me for my absence! Nonetheless, I am here again and it feels good to be blogging. In my experience it's always nice to have a break from whatever regime you have going on, it gives you time to reflect and allows your muscles to relax.... a bit like a summer holiday!
So you will be sad to know I'm no longer visiting the park for runs anymore because I just don't want to go back there anymore. It was there that I started feeling unwell and I just want to go somewhere new. However you will be pleased to know that I am running in the gym! I'm carrying on from where I left off on Couch to 5K on week 4 but this time on a treadmill. What's great about going to my gym is that afterwards I will relax in the jacuzzi giving myself some cool-down time before I shoot off to work. It's taken two weeks for me to settle into this manic morning routine but I know once I've done it for a while, it will become another part of my life.
One thing I hated about running in the park was that I was always sweaty and tired even when I got to work. Now I get to wash and blow dry my hair and listen to music in the changing rooms. I even arrive to work ready to have my breakfast before I start. The trade off is that I must sleep early and wake up at 6.00am.
I have not yet lost any weight but tomorrow is going to be my Day 25 and hopefully, we will see some results. My body is changing already because everyone agrees (including me) that my butt has changed shape!
The other great thing about this is that I get more 'me' time. That is the key to my happiness I guess!
More of 'me time' and running later. I must sleep but I will be updating you when I can :)
Much love,
Helen
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