It honestly kills to resume back into a weight loss type lifestyle. My will to carry on halted around the end of October where a new job and new lifestyle began to take control and I have not been dieting ever since. You may have seen that I've put on 2lbs and one or two inches, and to be honest it's not too bad but it's not great when you have a wedding in March.
My diet has been pretty poor compared to what it was when I was at my best and losing the most weight. These days I rely heavily on convenience foods and dairy slips into my diet more and more frequently as the days go on.
When the new year came I finally felt like I could let go of my two month indulgence and restart what I had set to do in September and here I am, eating melon for breakfast and wondering how to handle the day.
The wonderful thing about a new job are new friends and acquaintances; that means more parties, gatherings, experiences and less time to concentrate on myself. I've ended up in yet another food environment where everyday, all I touch is food and it's really made it difficult to forget all the yummy yet naughty things I once left behind. I refuse to blame the environment... so I guess, I can blame time, right?
I've been banging on about how little time I have and what a nuisance it really is. I wake up at 7am and come back home at 7.30pm, making it difficult to ever make three square home cooked meals. In the two months I faltered, it would be steamed, sweet Chinese lotus buns for breakfast, rice and tofu for lunch and dinner would be something fast. Wait no, those were good days. Bad days? It would be all convenience and even snacks which would include crisps, chocolates (the deadly dairy kind), cakes and biscuits.
I have to say, being on that kind of diet again for two months has not only messed up my sleeping but it's also given me food swings and strange bowel problems.
Alas I am done with complaining and finished with be upset at myself. I've realised that the many obstacles facing me will never stop and I am just going to have to deal with it! I am going to a new friend's house this afternoon for hot pot which is always fun and also laden with meat and fish. I won't apologise for eating a bit of fish in front of friends but I will if I end up eating chocolate...which I will try my best not to.
Exercise has been very poor and I'm really wanting to get back into my old routines again. The only thing that is stopping me if my mind because to me, it's quite daunting to start what seems like square one again. I keep asking myself "Helen, when are you going to cycle to work again?" and "you haven't walked Happy for a while, that would be great", and the worst still "why are you not running anymore?".
The answer lies in sheer laziness, and that's all I will say. I don't want to make excuses because there isn't besides the fact that I'm always exhausted from work. Still, that shouldn't stop me from riding my bike to work.
The one thing that has kept me on the straight and narrow this week is my checking in time with the scales. This is one strange phenomenon I have to say will not work for everyone but only for those who, like me, love to be in control and forgets easily. Mostly, 'the rules' state that constant weighing of yourself is bad for the mind and soul and particularly bad for your diet. It's suggested that we do it once a week and the same time every week and this, I totally agree with. However I weighing myself every other day helps to keep me in check and it reminds me to be good that day. Perhaps this works only for those who have little obsessive behavioural tendencies (warning: do not do this if you can become easily obsessed!). The scales never upset me because I understand it's just a measuring tool; when the weight creeps up, I know how and why and when and it is likewise when the weight drops too.
Anyway my face mask is drying and it's time for me to face life again. I shall be back and hopefully the momentum will keep me blogging and keep me losing the weight.... pray for me!
FYI: The last day I blogged was day 63 in October so I have decided to omit the two months I was away and just keep going. So I am still on week 9 and it is day 67.